Five odd scholarships 


Tired of writing boring essays? These scholarships are a change from the norm.

By Sasha Fahrenkopf

UWIRE – All college students hold one truth to be self-evident: school is expensive. While we lift couch cushions to find quarters for dinner, rich men and women everywhere are creating scholarships so some students can afford to buy groceries.

Among all the money given to those students who are Greek, in every club and have time to be the smartest people on campus, other money is given to students as long as they fit one criteria: they’re strange. Here are the top five ridiculous scholarships created that will make you wish you were a “Star Trek” fan, taller and naked.

5. Is your miserable experience in the dorms, sharing a bathroom with 50 other students and never having a minute alone, eased when you lay your head on your lofted bunk bed? Maybe you should write an essay about your feelings. $500 is awarded annually by The OP Loftbed Scholarship to students who loft their bed and find the experience moving enough to write about it.

4. Everyone knows that the “cool” fabric to wear is cotton, but for those of you that demand a more pastoral edge to your lifestyle and wear only wool, up to $2,000 could be awarded to all your itchy, hot suffering. The scholarship is awarded based on outfit creativity using wool, so put down that blanket, call your grandma and start designing those knitting patterns.

3. To some, May 8 is a Friday; to others, May 8 will be the 11th epic addition to the “Star Trek” family of feature films. If you have already requested that day off from work and planned an intensive month-long six-series marathon, you should apply for the $500 Klingon Language Institute Scholarship. You don’t need to speak Klingon, but don’t bother applying if you think the most important Jean Luc was a French filmmaker.

2. If you are a male 6’2”or taller or a female 5’10” or taller, then you too can get up to $1,000 with the Tall Clubs International Scholarship. If your life has been a mesh of utter convenience when reaching things and bitter humiliation every time you heard, “I just don’t feel comfortable dating someone taller than me,” write an essay about what being tall means to you and get money for college.

1. The best money to get is money for doing nothing. The American Nudist Research Library Scholarship uses this theory when awarding money for wearing nothing. If you are a sophomore and have been looking for a way to legitimize taking three years to live in a nudist colony, tell your parents it was all for the sake of that $1,000 scholarship. Drop your pants, find somewhere warm to live and wait for the scholarship money to start rolling in.